unseen fears

No matter what I do in life there will be setbacks and trials. I have made a huge difference in my life by accepting my illness as part of me.
I lived in fear for years of my own thoughts and actions. I was out of control with my own reality. When I decided that shame is no longer an option for my life, things began to change for me.
I fear alot of things such as setbacks and med changes causing me to regress. I think about this often when the doctor starts to make changes in my treatment. I fear these things because of the past and what happened before I became "level". I always think of it even now but, I have learned ways to handle my fears. The unseen fears I keep fighting are squashed under the coping mechanisms I have learned over the past few years.
When I start feeling the rush of thoughts becoming negative I think of the ways I can override this fear. I have taught myself meditation techniques and breathing exercises which help me focus. I usually can override these unseen fears and I call them that because I can deal with them myself and therefore they don't interfere with my life as a whole.
My illness is a part of me that I am learning to control more and more everyday. I am so thankful for the people who have taught me these skills and guided me through the rough times while I fought hard to feel sorry for myself. I have came a long way and these unseen fears are under control. Thank you God!
Vanessa