Now, it is hard to even trust your family when you think about it. Not knowing whether they are going to talk behind your back or give you a bad rap amongst the rest of your family as a whole. My life has been filled with people with the very best intentions trying to help me through the tough things I was going through. I would put myself in some doosies I know, although no one understood my illness, they did support me and I am grateful.
I have came so far in the past 15 yrs. and believe it or not have become very capable of making most decisions on my own. I know when to ask for help and not but, they still question me.
I realize they are just worried about relapse and don't want to see that happen. I feel that my own wellness depends on my being independent and in control of me.
So, I come across hateful sometimes to them and I get aggravated easily when they second guess my decisions.
I don't mean to be that way it is just me trying to stay in control of me and my life. I get real defensive of these things which sometimes I overreact easily to but, I can't help it.
I apologize to these people with all my heart for my reactions sometimes because of these insecurities because of the past. I think sometimes they are war rented though because they are too controlling. Not because they want to be but because they think it is necessary, I love you all friends and family alike and I thank God you were all there when I needed you.
Thanks, nessa
