My Craziness by: Vanessa Hansen

I have always thought i was alone in the fight against my past and illness. I have found in the past two years that this is far from the truth. I really am not alone!! There are others who feel the same as me that recovery from a mental illness is possible.
Most people will run after this first paragraph, although, you are not alone. We are a growing, recovering population which have rights.
I am a new member of NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness), I have had my eyes opened up real wide in the past few months to ideas and frankly a new way of life.
I have been given the opportunity to be trained in three different programs lately which helps me and helps me help others. This has become my focus after a long time of living a non-existant life. I didn't fit in anywhere or feel like I belonged anywhere. I have three kids which love me very much but I couldn't have a relationship with them. I couldn't maintain a loving relationship with anyone which was hard on my because I am a loving person.
Things got really bad about 20 years ago and I ended up having to seek treatment for a mental illness. I have bi-polar disorder. Have it! It doesn't have me any longer. Since seeking help 20 years ago I went through some servere times and transformations that were very hard. I made it through them which is a feat in itself if you have any idea what it is like to have a mental illness.
Mentally ill have a very high suicide rate because of lack of support, lack of understanding, education, research into the disorders, and no hope for a future, because everyone looks at them as second class citizens.
I want you to know that I found out when I became aware of my mental illness that I walked down the street with mentally ill persons on a daily basis and never knew it before.
We don't wear a tatoo on our foreheads or have a certain look about us. We are doctors, lawyers, policemen, presidents, business tycoons, actors and others professionals that you wouldn't expect us to be. I was totally blown away when I found out this was the world I lived in. I never knew that people with mental illness could even function. I have learned so much in the past few years!
I speak with IOOV and BRIDGES to educate others on the importance of support, education and awareness. I educate others on the fact that there is no shame in being one of the mentally ill. I try to express to the families of these individuals that there is no shame in acceptance of the reality and that they are not alone. Also, express to even my family still that it isn't their fault. They didn't do anything to make me that way.
I speak out not to embarrass myself or to become a freak of nature, but, to show others that recovery is possible and reachable. I speak out to express the need for the support of organizations such as: National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) and others who spend their valuable time making recovery an easier process for the families as well as the persons who suffer from the illnesses.

This is my cause and my life.
Nessa